calstanford

As always, I never cease to freak doctors out. When I was at Stanfurd this past week, I had the misfortune of passing out as I left cardiology. After passing out I, of course, tried to escape and consequently hit my head on a tree. Then THIRTY doctors RAN at me. With a crash cart. In the rain. It was ridiculous—I think all the interns wanted me to die. You should have seen how crestfallen they were when I didn’t have to be shocked.



My Stanford ID card. I know, the scariest part!

Then I got assigned to a resident: she said I should leave. Yeah... then I had some transient consciousness business, concussed my head and bled all over the place. Fabulous. I think it was about here they decided to keep me, and consequently pushed five IV bags of fluid through me in conjunction with some ridiculous monitoring equipment and some sub-par-non-narcotic drugs (I kept telling them I wouldn’t die, but to no avail). It was exactly like Grey’s Anatomy, except with less sex (Ironically, I did watch last night’s episode from my hospital bed).

4:30AM on Halloween-- this machine kept waking me up and pretending that I was dying. I wasn't, but had I been allowed out of bed, I would have killed the freaking machine!

 

The Closet where they stuck me for like ever. But I did have the attention of three nurses and eight billion monitors.

Anyways, their findings: CHF. Yes, boys and girls: Heart Failure. But like only the minor kind.The kind where it's pretty much impossible to die.I do believe we live in a world where it's possible to have a little bit of heart failure but it’s still impossible to be a little bit pregnant. Though, that I’m not (If you don’t believe me, you can check one of the four pregnancy tests they did...).


Apparently Coffee is GOOD for me. And after all those years of it not being ok...


Close up on that sign-- if you look super close, you can even see the yellow letters of my cal gear in the reflection!

In Conclusion: No matter what happens, any day I come home with my driver's license is a good one.

My humble heart happy abode. Note the Stars on the hospital gown. It was flannel. I got to take it home. So awesome. That and the unlimited long distance. Downside? No wireless internet...