So, this one time I totally spent a whole summer vacation in the hospital, just to see what it was like. Not really. But I did manage to get a central line infection from a PICC line and actually did spend my summer vacation BEATING DEATH (you wish you could say that). Anyways, it was twelve (AWESOME!) days in the hospital which weren't actually that bad because I spent the whole time eating breakfast in bed and seeing like all my friends. We even had a whole Google+ event on it (hosted by the lovely Ted Eytan). We also had an awesome google hangout. Yeah, my friends are amazing.

Day One

 

Grow Baby, Grow!

Grow Baby, Grow!

You know that feeling when you get a 104 degree fever? Yeah. That feeling. But you don't have to wait in line at the ER so that's excellent. Plus, blood stream infections don't make you sick like flu sick, they're just a fever which doesn't actually feel that bad (Obviously you should trust the memory of the person who was shivering like it's Antartica, not in DC in June...).

Day Two

We need a drug pump for zofran?

We need a drug pump for zofran?

And then you just spend a day bored out of your mind? But you did have some kinda awesome hallucinations. And you got to see your favorite suit who gave you a Little Mermaid pin.

Day Three

PICC lines are rough, man!

PICC lines are rough, man!

And then they try you on Penicllin's cousin, Piper (which you're allergic to) and literally crawl on top of you to change out your PICC line dressing for (seemingly) the fun of it? But your friend totally brought you Kale AND an all organic-vegan milkshake which made your inner Berkeley dance.

Day Four



And then they pull out your PICC line (not for the fun of it). But your friends bring you homemade strawberry jam and make you a sock puppet, so the nurse still calls you her "happy flower" and you know it's all going to be alright?

Day Five

And then Smokey Bear says you have to get new iPhone cords? But then your friends come to visit because they're awesome? Yeah, this friend, and this friend.

Day Six

And then you start to make friends with your food and everyone decides that after day 5 you must be dying so they start sending you Bible verses and the timing kinda-sorta-freaks you out?



And then you (actually) start dying, but it ends up ok?

Day Seven



So you wake up and do a half crazed monologue on beeping alarms and then you totally sign off on a surgery without really knowing what you're getting into?

video call

But then you google hangout with this friend, and this friend, and this friend, so it's cool.

Day Eight

And then they play around in your neck (again, for the fun of it). But then you get to eat as many cherry popsicles as you want so it's awesome?

Day Nine

And then you can't get out of bed again, but your friends bring you Matzah Ball soup, so crisis averted.

Day Ten

New Drugs! Winning!

New Drugs! Winning!

And then you pass out? But you got new drugs, so you know it's all going to be winning.

Day Eleven

 

And then they say you may never get to leave? But then the sunshine of life brings you Chipotle (Pooh brought to you by this friend), so it's actually a super fantastic day?

Day Twelve

Made Bail!

Made Bail!

And then you make bail, and Mom and Dad take you home. And it's all winning. No buts about it.