This year I get to be one of the 41,000 Americans to develop a Central Line Associated Blood Stream Infection (CLABSI). Since the general population’s chance of getting one of these is .0001%, I feel pretty special. As it turns out, these things are deadly and expensive. Since I’m me, I managed to get the most deadly kind of enterobacter bacteremia, enterobacter cloacae. Like the 42.6% of people die kind (usually CLABSIs only kill 12-25%). This also means it was the expensive kind. Haven’t seen a final bill, but based on past hospitalizations, my insurance company will actually pay out about 89 thousand dollars (average is $16,550) for the ten nights and 12 days I spent in the hospital. While definitely the most serious side effect of the PICC line, it was simply the last in a saga of medical errors and complications associated with the two lines I had.

This warning brought to you by: Kolya

Complication 1: Intraluminal Occlusion

The day after my Intravenous Lecture, my friend dragged me to the ER and they forgot to flush my PICC line with Heparin. Which means it clotted. Which means I was back in the ER 12 hours later and had to have the thing removed due to a intraluminal occlusion (while not as special as my CLABSI, still only 3-9% incidence rate).

Getting a line removed is totally painless, but knowing it was the first time someone did it kinda freaked me out.

Despite what I was promised by the advice line, the ER wouldn’t put in a replacement PICC and told me I’d have to go back through my cardiologist’s office for the replacement, Unfortunately, if I don’t do the saline therapy, I pass out. Which I did, about ten times in two days. When I woke up on day three, the hospital magically had an opening to replace the line that we followed with a three day admission to bring me back to stable. Which was awesome.

This hospitalization brought to you by: Ekat, Whitney, Phil, Brad, Marie, and Kathleen.

Near-Miss-Complications 2 and 3: Possible Clot and Line Movement

After I got the second line life was good - only complication in two months was a clot that resolved pretty quickly (if it was even there). The line also moved 2 inches out of my arm which I didn't realize was a problem. When I eventually ended up in the hospital for the CLABSI, the nurses there freaked out that my home care nurse hadn’t sent me in for an xray to check the line placement. Whoops.

Looks clear to me!

Looks clear to me!

Complication 4: The Healthcare Associated Infection

The six weeks of relative bliss eventually came to an end and I ended up in the ER and left with  a concussion and an infection. Will it get reported as an HAI? Probably not since there were multiple parties involved in the line’s care (me, home nurse, prompt care, primary care), but considering the timing, I’m pretty convinced I got it at the ER.

I live in a studio apartment with six separate forms of hand cleaner. It definitely wasn't me.

As per usual, I ignored my symptoms and went about my business - presenting at XXinHealth with, as fellow speaker Donna Cryer put it, a lovely 102 degree glow. At Datapalooza the next day, I mentioned the fever to a friend who tattled to everyone’s favorite bow-tied doctor - who was finally able to break through my ill guided notions that I might “burn it off." By the time I got to the hospital, I was running a fever of 103.8 and was pretty sure my teeth were going to chatter straight out of my head. All things considered, I didn’t feel that bad – I actually felt a little guilty for getting jumped ahead of the kid who obviously had a stomachache. Granted I was on the verge of septic shock, but you know, whatever.

Complication 5: The Allergies

They admitted me and tried some Vanc for the more common bacteremia. Then my culture started growing something gram negative, so they freaked out and called infectious disease who said the PICC line had to come out. Anyways, once they determined I'm also allergic to penicillin's first cousin, Piper, I was finally started on my stalwart, Cipro, and stopped hallucinating. Which kinda took all the fun out of this whole saga, but I guess it had to end in the interest of, you know, living.

PICC line removal. They called me sweetpea.

Since I had to do twice a day IV antibiotics and my veins love to blow, the hospital had to keep me until they could place a port for home antibiotic therapy. Port placement was an adventure in and of itself - there was an epic yelling match in the OR between the surgeon and the nursing team over patient throughput (took 6.5 hours instead of 1) and whose job it was to make sure I'm not pregnant. Then the anesthesiologist, who was actually a DDS, asked me what grade I'm going into next year. Sparkly blue nail polish actually does take off ten years. Who knew?

Then we had a series of totally minor allergies. First they used sorbaview to cover the port when I asked them not to and ended up with an awesome rash and some blisters; it's been two weeks and they're mostly cleared up, so it's ok. Then I was discharged and the homecare company gave me drugs which, while labeled correctly, were set to incorrect rates; the resultant rash went away in a few hours and I didn't actually puke, so it's cool. Then I was prescribed contraindicated drugs that more than doubled my blood pressure; still, got off totally stroke free, so it's all good.

This hospitalization brought to you by: Ekat, Konstantin, Kathleen, Wen, Ted, Rebecca, Stephanie, Stephanie, Sam, Brad, Marie, Randi, Regina, and Isaac. More experiences from it can be found here. 

What was the point again?

So what’s the point of all of this? The point is that when you’re working with humans there will be mistakes. Most of them won’t kill you. But when you’re working with central lines, they might. See, I’m not immunocompromised and I still spent 12 days in the hospital over an HAI. And that’s a big, big deal. Particularly because it was completely avoidable. Proper hand hygiene is the easiest, cheapest, and most effective way to bring down the number of HAIs. I know that- it imprinted on my brain during grad school and my lean six sigma green belt project was on hand washing. But even I don’t know what nurses can touch with their bare hands after using hand sanitizer, what they need to wear gloves for, and what they need to be sterile for (untouched by human hands). I asked about the observed differences in technique and my nurse told me that variations were due to whether a nurse had a bad experience with a drug before (eg it spilled on them before and they got sticky so they now wear gloves).  Ad hoc variation aside, my most shocking observation is how nurses interacted with pagers/phones. There were many times in which a nurse would be wearing gloves to fix my IV, have their phone ring, pick up the phone, and then go back to what they were doing  without changing gloves or washing their hands. It’s as if the phone was magically excepted from clean and sterile procedures. The "need" to be connected all the time has become ingrained into our culture at the expense of patient safety. As much as I love technology, I'm not a fan of it when it could kill me. So if you learn nothing else - don't text and drive. Or touch central lines. Trust me on this one.

So, this one time I totally spent a whole summer vacation in the hospital, just to see what it was like. Not really. But I did manage to get a central line infection from a PICC line and actually did spend my summer vacation BEATING DEATH (you wish you could say that). Anyways, it was twelve (AWESOME!) days in the hospital which weren't actually that bad because I spent the whole time eating breakfast in bed and seeing like all my friends. We even had a whole Google+ event on it (hosted by the lovely Ted Eytan). We also had an awesome google hangout. Yeah, my friends are amazing.

Day One


Grow Baby, Grow!

Grow Baby, Grow!

You know that feeling when you get a 104 degree fever? Yeah. That feeling. But you don't have to wait in line at the ER so that's excellent. Plus, blood stream infections don't make you sick like flu sick, they're just a fever which doesn't actually feel that bad (Obviously you should trust the memory of the person who was shivering like it's Antartica, not in DC in June...).

Day Two

We need a drug pump for zofran?

We need a drug pump for zofran?

And then you just spend a day bored out of your mind? But you did have some kinda awesome hallucinations. And you got to see your favorite suit who gave you a Little Mermaid pin.

Day Three

PICC lines are rough, man!

PICC lines are rough, man!

And then they try you on Penicllin's cousin, Piper (which you're allergic to) and literally crawl on top of you to change out your PICC line dressing for (seemingly) the fun of it? But your friend totally brought you Kale AND an all organic-vegan milkshake which made your inner Berkeley dance.

Day Four

And then they pull out your PICC line (not for the fun of it). But your friends bring you homemade strawberry jam and make you a sock puppet, so the nurse still calls you her "happy flower" and you know it's all going to be alright?

Day Five

And then Smokey Bear says you have to get new iPhone cords? But then your friends come to visit because they're awesome? Yeah, this friend, and this friend.

Day Six

And then you start to make friends with your food and everyone decides that after day 5 you must be dying so they start sending you Bible verses and the timing kinda-sorta-freaks you out?

And then you (actually) start dying, but it ends up ok?

Day Seven

So you wake up and do a half crazed monologue on beeping alarms and then you totally sign off on a surgery without really knowing what you're getting into?

video call

But then you google hangout with this friend, and this friend, and this friend, so it's cool.

Day Eight

And then they play around in your neck (again, for the fun of it). But then you get to eat as many cherry popsicles as you want so it's awesome?

Day Nine

And then you can't get out of bed again, but your friends bring you Matzah Ball soup, so crisis averted.

Day Ten

New Drugs! Winning!

New Drugs! Winning!

And then you pass out? But you got new drugs, so you know it's all going to be winning.

Day Eleven


And then they say you may never get to leave? But then the sunshine of life brings you Chipotle (Pooh brought to you by this friend), so it's actually a super fantastic day?

Day Twelve

Made Bail!

Made Bail!

And then you make bail, and Mom and Dad take you home. And it's all winning. No buts about it.